Hospital Stay Day 2: GET ME OUT!!!

Okay, so day one was cake. Yes, I refer to cake a lot because I love it. I love cake. And day one was indeed, cake. Day two, yeah, not so much. It has been TERRIBLE! So, maybe not terrible as in you aren't fed, you have no running water and have an infected open wound with no medical treatment type of terrible, but when the doctors orders are "bed rest with bathroom privileges" it's pretty dreadful. Yes, I should be grateful because I know 3rd world countries don't even have hospitals, let alone bathrooms, but I'm going to be a little bit of a diva right now. And let's be honest, I really don't think my "diva-ness" is anything compared to other people, so just deal. But you know it's bad when you stand up and do the "mommy sway" for an hour watching TV, and then read standing up for another hour because that is just about all there is to do. Although, the nurse did tell me that her longest patient had to stay here, with strict bed rest for 4 months, so I guess a single week really isn't all too bad. Which makes me think I really shouldn't complain at all, so I won't. Instead I'm going to "give my insight" on how my hospital stay has been...and it is only day 2 and I'm ready to check myself out of this joint. This morning Brian even said, "you look like you've already been here a week..." Golly gee, thanks. I would say "he'll be sleeping on the couch for that comment," but since he's 6'5" and sleeping on a rock solid cot that his feet hang off of with a pathetic excuse of a pillow, I guess I'll cut him some slack. And he really has been a trooper, even though it's only day 2. Maybe I should wait and sing his praises after day 6 haha! But seriously, he's staying in a hospital for a week, when he could go home (I gave him permission) AND he's being an all-star dad (like always) since I literally cannot do anything with Kai except go explore the hospital, watch movies, color and take naps with him. And for a little 3 year old boy who only wants to run around, climb on everything and wrestle, the things Mommy can do with him just aren't cutting it. Daddy on the other hand is limitless! Brian even scoped out all the pools in the Lubbock area to find the best one! He's pretty awesome and is being super supportive. I mean, not to keep praising him, but he even offered to give me a pedicure since I can't leave to go get one. Though, I'm pretty sure his definition of pedicure and mine are MUCH different, but hey, it's the thought that counts. We'll see how it turns out :)

Amnio FAIL.

Sooooooo yesterday definitely did not go according to ANYTHING I had planned. Go figure. God has a sense of humor...I suppose :) I had an amnio scheduled for 9:30a with my high risk doctor, Dr. Atkinson, which of course did not happen until 10ish. Actually, the amnio testing did not happen at all. See, the plan was to do the amnio to test for lung maturity. If it came back positive, BAM, sent straight to labor and delivery for JB's official eviction notice (aka: Pitocin) and if it came back negative then sent straight to antepartum where I would be monitored for a week before being induced (without further testing) on Tuesday June 18th. So going into this I always knew there was a possibility of having to stay in the hospital for a week, but what I wasn't prepared for was for Dr. Atkinson to NOT do the test. Don't get me wrong, they did all the prep work and everything and then as soon as he found a little pocket of fluid to test the little squirt (JB) moved and took the spot away. This happened a couple times before Dr. Atkinson said "there is no reason to take any risk" and then gave me my "marching orders" and pretty much, what I realize now, was my prison sentence. Yes, at first I was disappointed. Not because I had to stay at the hospital, but because in my head I had my mind made up that I was having Josiah yesterday. I knew that's what was going to happen...until it didn't. It wasn't until after it didn't happen that I realized what a relief it was that it didn't. HA! I literally think I was convincing myself that I was going to have him because that was the route that scared me the most and I wanted to be prepared. Staying in the hospital getting tests done every 4-6hrs is cake compared to giving birth!! Hmmmm what's easier? To watch movies all day and twiddle your thumbs or push a baby out of your vagina? I'll take option 1, thanks. I mean, not really, but after all that has happened over the last year I think it made me finally realize how afraid I am. I'm scared to meet little Josiah, I'm scared of disappointment, I'm scared of hurt. This should be one of the happiest moments of my life, and yet, I'm fearful of it. Brian's grandmother sent me a text message (yes, she is in her 70s and texts almost weekly!) of Psalm 56:3, which says, "When I am afraid, I will trust You" and continues to encourage me by saying that "when the fear of the unknown attacks it is so good to repeat over and over" - how amazing is she. See, after Brian's mother was born, Gram Meline also had a stillborn and then had 3 more amazing daughters! She knows exactly how I'm feeling and clearly knew exactly what scripture I needed. Yes, I am afraid, yes I do not know what is ahead, but through it all I will trust the Lord. In my opinion there is really no other option. So until next Tuesday, I will sit in my little hospital prison cell and trust the Lord, enjoy these last few days with Malachi, Brian and my mom and HOPEFULLY get some rest, though when they wake you up at 4am for testing, that seems a little difficult. Good news is, they said they would get me some ambien if I so desired........tempting, very tempting.