Zombie Mommy

Most people who will read this will probably be hearing this for the millionth time, but I am legit a zombie. I have literally been running on about 3 hours of "solid" sleep every night. And I swear that sweet little JB knows exactly when I lay may head down on any.single.pillow in the house because almost simultaneously he will start to cry. Seriously buddy, just 5 minutes, all I wanted was a quick 5 minute power nap. Ugh. But of course, such is life and this mommy is one tired zombified mommy. I guess 3 hours will be my new normal...at least until after our CO trip because when we get home from that it's on like Donkey Kong. It's a battle and I will win.

Anyway, I knew I hit a wall when the other night I fed Josiah, laid him down, said a quick prayer that he would sleep and then went to get some of my trusty friends...the nipple pads. I had hopes of maybe getting some sleep and didn't want to wake up to a milk-maid mess so the protection was definitely necessary. Just out of habit I grab my other little friend, the nipple cream. Ahhhh sweet relief. Except what is this tingling sensation? I don't remember this from...ever. Somehow my sleep deprived mind tells my sleep deprived body to turn on a light. Low and behold, that was not my trusty friend the nip cream, it was in fact...toothpaste. Nothing says relief like a minty fresh nipple. Refreshing.

Annnnnd with that I say to all, goodnight.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

JB - One Month.

Dear sweet little night owl Josiah,

Crazy. It's absolutely crazy. This has easily been the fastest month of my life...and yours! Mostly because our house has been pretty much a hotel since you came into the world (and before!) but also because I have been zombie mom for the last 4 weeks. Little man you have GOT to get your days and nights right. This whole sleep all day and party all night has to stop. And I know you're 100% Lohrey with that strong will of yours. Duuuude during the day we CANNOT keep you awake to save our lives. We have tried EVERYTHING! And I mean everything. I've stripped you down, I've given you baths, I've tried a cold cloth, I've tried I've cubes, I've even tried letting Kai play in your crib while you were napping. Nada. No chance if waking you up. When you want to sleep you just WILL NOT wake up. Good grief. It's an up-hill battle fo' sho. And you're just as stubborn when you want to be awake. You will fight sleep all night. But let me tell you, once you get your nights and days right, you will be a champ sleeper and this mama is PUMPED. Unfortunately even your pediatrician said I've tried everything and that you will eventually just get your schedule "right"...I'm skeptical.

Other than making your mom a complete zombie with horrid bags under her eyes, you are a peach. I could literally watch you sleep all day. Creepy, I know, but you're just so peacefully perfect and I cannot thank The Lord enough for the blessing He has given me. One day when you're much much older you will understand and I will tell you all about the number of prayers that went up for your safe arrival. You truly are a blessing and have already brought so much joy to our lives.

Now let me tell you about your older brother. Malachi absolutely ADORES you. He always asks about you and constantly checks on you to make sure you're okay. When we wake up in the morning (well, he wakes up because he actually slept) the first thing he asks is "Mommy how did my broffer sleep?" And the questions continue throughout the day. He immediately tells me you're hungry as soon as you start crying and the moment he sees spit-up he runs and wipes it. He does NOT like when you have a "yucky mouth" (that's what he calls it) Ohhhhh and its over if you poop. He wants you to have a new diaper, like yesterday. He is so sweet with you and loves you to pieces. He gives you a hug an kiss before all your naps and bedtime. If he goes anywhere without you he tells you he loves you and that he'll be right back. He'll also tell you "it's okay buddy" if you make any sort of noise and loves giving you your plug. Seriously, watching him with you melts my heart and I pray you guys have a great relationship when you get older.

As much as I love you you need to please stop peeing and pooping all over me. That...and I need to stop being so over confident that you won't pee or poop on me. But seriously, you pee on me at least once a day and have had 2 straight shot explosive poops right at me. Nothing like a good mustard seed bath from your bum. Nasty. Luckily you have the cutest little face and you are instantly forgiven. I'm guessing you'll use that precious little face to get away a whole lot, just like your brother. I can see you boys causing a lot of trouble in the near future!

Baby boy, you are so very special and there are a whole lot of people that love you. Now get your sleep schedule situated or your 2 month post is not going to be as glorifying :o) Love you nugget.

Love your one and only,
Mom

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Postpartum Pre-eclampsia

Yeah that was fun. Except it wasn't. Not fun at all. It was terrible. I legit thought I was going to die like Cybil in Downtown Abbey. As crazy as it sounds, I would literally keep myself awake as long as possible at night because I was convinced I was going to die in my sleep. It was pretty bad. Really bad. But don't worry, now I realize it really wasn't that big of a deal, but when you combine an ER visit with the possibility of hospitalization with a newborn and 3 year old at home PLUS all those postpartum hormones running rampant through your body you get one freaked out mama. Holy anxiety attacks. For realz.

So honestly, I think I knew somewhere deep in the back of my brain that you could get this "postpartum pre-eclampsia" but it never really crossed my mind that I would get it. I mean, less than 1% of pregnant women do so why would I be one of them? But then again, why wouldn't I be? Ohhhh that's right...I would. So my whole pregnancy was actually pretty smooth. No trouble with high blood pressure, absolutely no swelling (chunky, but not swollen) and no real issues or cause for concern. I mean, I had my weekly/bi-weekly testing because of my history, but nothing that would raise any red flags. After delivery I did have some swelling in my hands and legs, but the nurses wrote it off as my body just getting rid of that access fluid that I was retaining during my pregnancy. Made sense to me so I wrote it off and went on my merry way. Except a week later I was still swollen, which apparently is not normal. I wasn't terribly swollen, but enough that I could push my finger into my ankle and my print would stay. Gross. But other than that I really felt fine and had no other symptoms. Until I did. I started having these upper abdominal pains. They started off minor and then became extremely painful. My mom thought it might be gallstones since those can be common after pregnancy and we have family history. So after a quick call to my doctor's office to see what they recommended, (I had to leave a message) I popped a Zantac and a couple Tums and waited to feel better. Except I never did. Eventually the "cramps" got so painful that I was in tears on the phone with Brian asking him to take me to the ER. The Hobbs ER. You know it was bad if I ASKED to go the Hobbs ER. And seriously, not to pat myself on the back, but I'm not wimp when it comes to pain and I was literally in tears. Partially from the pain, partially from the hormones and mostly from the stress of having to leave my kids and thinking something terrible was going to happen. Pretty much a hot mess...minus the hot.

Brian comes home from the office and we drive to the good ole Hobbs ER. The whole 2 minute drive there I am literally in the mindset that I'm either going to die or I am just wasting time and money because they're going to tell me it's gallstones, to pop a couple more Tums and send me on my way. They call me into the back and check my vitals. WHAT THE...??? My blood pressure is 132/78, which really isn't terribly high, but considering when I was pregnant and in delivery the highest it ever got was about 120, so in the 130s was kind of high. The doc comes in and immediately tells me I have "PPPE". Brian and I immediately start to question (literally asking him a bunch of questions) everything he is saying. I mean, after all, we are in the HOBBS ER. Not very reliable in my book...or anyones book for that matter. Turns out this doctor is one of the good ones. After getting me all set up and getting tests started my doctor (my OB from Lubbock) called me, immediately asked to speak with the doctor and demanded that if scenario a, b or c were to occur I was to be immediately transferred to Lubbock...and he agreed. Plus, when Brian and I questioned him, he actually took the time to explain every little detail without showing one sign of frustration. Dr. Perales (my OB) even reassured me that he knew what he was doing and to call her if I had any concerns. Seriously I have the best doctors. Anyway, thankfully a, b or c didn't occur and they ran some tests, gave me some blood pressure meds and a diarrhetic and sent me on my way for the night.

Intermission: They gave me the diarrhetic to help flush out some of the water I had been retaining. I think I peed about 3 gallons in 3 hours. I kid you not. And no joke, in 24 hours I lost 10lbs in water weight. I wish that happened every day. Geesh it was amazing.

The next day Brian and I headed to Lubbock to meet up with Dr. Perales while the boys stayed at home with my mom. Dr. Perales wanted to re-run the tests to make sure I was on the down slide of PPPE and not getting worse. Plus she wanted to redo the ultrasound of my liver because she "doesn't trust small town hospital testing" - can't say I blame her. Thankfully everything looked great and I no longer had protein in my urine, which was a huge sigh if relief for me because that meant things were getting better. This is not to say that I didn't have some sort of big huge giant meltdown in her office admitting that I was convinced I was going to die, because I definitely did. Seriously, looking back I'm surprised she didn't have me committed because I'm sure I sounded like a complete psycho. She really is great though, listened to all my concerns and reassured me that though it is extremely rare all my labs looked good and that I was on the mend. She did offer to admit for observation if it would help me feel better, but I declined (to my own surprise).

So here I am today. Clearly I have yet to die and I am feeling much better. Thankfully I am over that big hormonal hump. I have been put on BP meds until my postpartum check-up just to keep things in check. She did give me a prescription for some anti-anxiety/depression meds just in case but I have yet to fill those and hopefully won't have to. I have had my share of anxiety attacks, but what I had with this has been by far the worst. Thankfully...and hopefully...all these shanannagins are over, but boy, this pregnancy was quite the trip. And worth every bit.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Josiah Benjamin. The Delivery.

So Josiah Benjamin is here. Finally! And of course I am writing this post in a "fashinably late" form. That's just how I roll these days. What used to take me an hour to get ready, say for church, now takes me three. Not that I have actually been back to church yet. I know, such a sinner. My only excuse, and an extremely forgivable one at that, is that dear mister JB has his days and nights completely mixed up and so the idea of waking up and trying to be out the door by 8:45 makes me want to puke. Actually, thinking about it just makes my eyes extremely puffy from all the sleep deprevation. Okay, okay, I MAY be exaggerating a little...but really I'm not. I'm completely serious. I'm exhausted. I look like a zombie until about 2pm and even then I may look a little "off" - but hey, I got a newborn and yes, I will use that excuse until he turns one. Ha! But in all seriousness, and to get off my rambling about how fantastic I'm looking these days, I thought about sitting down to the write this post for the last 3 weeks. Yep, pretty much since the day I got home from the hospital. The thought of sitting down to write suuuuuch a loooong post made me cringe so I kept putting it off and putting it off until now. Now he is 3 weeks, almost 4 weeks old, and though I am still a sleepless zombie I have come to my senses and realized this actually won't be a long post at all. So here it goes...

Disclaimer: this is the abridged version. Kinda.

I was supposed to have an amnio on June 11th to see if little JB was ready to meet us. Amnio was cancelled because Dr. Atkinson couldn't find a "safe pocket" to test the amniotic fluid so I got to be put on bedrest in the hospital for a week. It was great fun. On June 17th I was transferred to Labor and Delivery. Woohoo, big day folks! That night they started me on Cervidil, which is pretty much this long string they shove up into your cooter box to help "rippen" your cervix. This all sounds great until the nurse explained it as a "$1,300 tea bag" - awesome. Anyway, they shoved that little sucker up there at about 9pm Monday night. That got to "marinate" (these are my words, not the nurses) for about 12hrs before they came in and started good ole Pitocin. Ahhh my friend. Let's get this party started RIIIIIGHT!?! So the Pitocin was flowing, I got my epidural and I rode that gravy train all the way until noon. Well, actually I rode it longer, but around noon Dr. Perales came to "check me out" and I still was only at about 4cm so we pretty much agreed that JB would not make his grand entrance until probably 5ish. I was kinda bummed, but took a nap and hung out. What else could I do? Nothing. I could do nothing. Around 2ish my Mom came in and just hung out with me and I started feeling the contractions and getting that urge to push. It actually came on me pretty quickly. I told my Mom and then called the nurse, Stacy. I literally told the nurse, "I am getting that 'I gotta poop' feeling" and she checked, looked at me calmly and said "whatever you do, don't push and don't laugh" and said I was completely dialated and ready to go. She then put my legs down and told me to keep them shut because I was so ready that she didn't want me to laugh the baby out (I was laughing at Brian because he kept making these wise remarks...typical) She called Dr. P, who made it over to the hospital in record time (I kid you not, I would have thought she was down the hall had she not said she was at her office.) Once Dr. Perales was there she took a look, told me I was definitely not having another ginger and with that next contraction I pushed. Badabing-badaboom I pushed twice and popped that sucker out! I literally pushed for 2 contractions and he made his way into the world, peeing all over everyone. Lovely. I immediately started crying and couldn't get enough of him. Instant love. So perfect. God is so good. We are so blessed. And boy oh boy was I relieved.

Josiah Benjamin. 2:45pm 6lbs 9oz - 19.5in long and one cute little nugget. He is one special blessing and looks a whole lot like his brothers, but even more like his Papa. Oh, and Kai is absolutely in love :)